It has been 15 months now since I was diagnosed with cancer last year.
During this time I have learned many things and although I am not anywhere near being "full of great wisdom" I just wanted to share some things that have helped me along the way in hopes that it could benefit you in some way as well.
First of all, I would like to speak to those who may be reading this while going through cancer.
My words to you are: YOU CAN MAKE IT! Never, never NEVER give up. I know the days are horrible, the nights are like something out of a nightmare but God said you are MORE than a conqueror!
Lean not unto your own understanding but TRUST in the Lord with ALL of your heart.
I know you've probably heard it all. When I was going through cancer I had countless people come to me with the latest miracle cure or the best medical advice they could give. Although they meant well, it became tiring and taxing having everyone I knew suddenly become a self proclaimed doctor trying to diagnose and treat me.
I'll admit, even those who came just to offer encouragement through prayer or the Word of God sometimes incurred my annoyance. When you are facing a life threatening illness it's hard to keep faith. You wonder why God would allow this to happen to you. You wonder why healing hasn't come yet and yes, you even wonder if God has forgotten you.
One Scripture (among many) that was a great comfort to me through the darkest days was Isaiah 46:16 and it simply reads, "Behold, I have graven you upon the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." I understand that when this passage was written Jesus was speaking of the walls of Jerusalem but many times the Scriptures have several different parallels or applications that can be applied to us as well.
When I read this Scripture I had an image of the palms of Jesus, the nail scarred hands of my Savior and I could imagine that when He saw those scars, He remembered the daughter that He died for to save. He remembered the stripes that were laid on His back for my healing and He was just saying to me, "when I see my hands and those scars on my hands I remember you. Your life is continually before me and I care about what you're going through."
After going through cancer I learned to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. To enjoy walking my dog, breathing the clean, outside air, being able to ride bicycles with my husband again, go to church regularly and participate in the services.
I learned not to take even the smallest things for granted - like being able to cook a meal for my husband and do laundry.
I learned to never miss an opportunity to tell someone of Jesus because I may never see that person again.
I learned to prepare as if I would be here forever but to continually live as if it would be my last day here.
I learned how to survive battles of the spirit, body and mind. I'm no hero. I know there are many who have fought much worse battles and come through much better than I did but I can only share my experiences - not theirs.
I learned to take one day at a time and above all else, to lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus.
True peace and happiness will only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Happiness cannot be found in things, people, or a religion, but a true relationship with Jesus is a personal calling, a deep, intimate experience with the One who knows you best and loves you most.
It is having the Spirit of God dwelling inside and that deep peace, the peace that passes all understanding within. The Bible says that when Jesus left this earth He sent the Holy Ghost which would be a comforter back to us and made it available to all who would come to know Him. Without the Holy Ghost - the Spirit of God living on the inside, I would've never been able to make it through the terrible storm I faced in the past year.
It is my desire that when people read my blog they would not see me, but they would see this Great God that I serve. I'm not interested in the accolades of man, I just want them to see and understand how big God is and how powerful and mighty He wants to be in each and every one of us.
Seeing as how my journey through cancer is over this will most likely be my last blog post.
This chapter in my life is over and an exciting new chapter is just beginning. I can't wait to see what God is going to do in our lives!
Although my blog has come to an end, this is not the end of my story.
I have a burden to reach out to those who are also in the fight against cancer and to the courageous survivors who have fought and won.
I feel that God has given me a testimony that I can share with others of His Greatness and awesome healing power.
This desire has been the fuel for a special project that I have always dreamed about; and now it seems that I will be seeing those dreams come to pass.
I will post again once it is time to let you guys in on the secret. ;)
Thank you to all who have prayed, encouraged and loved me through my battle.
Thank you to the readers who have read this blog. It means alot that you would even take time to read my ramblings. :) Some of you I've known for many years and others I've never met, but I appreciate the support of all of you.
Blessings-
Amy Whitfield
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Story of a Survivor
At the beginning of this trial, I felt that God spoke to me a promise.
I had just come home from an 18 day stay in the hospital after two surgeries and my first chemotherapy treatment.
I was broken, scared and grieving for my new husband and family who were also scared about what was to come.
I felt like a ship on a very stormy and uncertain sea being tossed about. I knew that my Anchor was Jesus Christ and I also knew that if He would speak peace into my storm, everything would be alright.
I remember being so weak I could hardly walk across the floor without help, I was also on oxygen and breathing was very difficult. But I knew that I MUST touch God that day.
Have you ever felt that you needed a Word from the Lord? I don't mean just a nice thought or even a Scripture but that you need God to audibly speak to you a promise just to hold you through the Storm.
That's how I felt that day. I needed to hear the voice of God telling me that I would make it. I knew that if God said I would make it, no matter what I had to face or go through, I WOULD make it!
I struggled my way into our bedroom, grabbed my Bible and sat down in our rocking chair and began to talk to God. I didn't have alot of strength so it was a very quiet and subdued prayer meeting but God heard me.
My husband was doing some work in our room and asked what was wrong when I came in (I was crying and visibly upset.)
I told him that I just needed to talk to God and needed God to talk to me. Prayer wasn't an unusual thing in our home so he just went about what he was doing while I began to pray.
I have never had a prayer meeting quite like the one I had that day. I just began to tell God how I felt and explained all of my worries and fears.
I told God that I wanted to live to have children and see them raised, I wanted to live to see the next day and I didn't want to leave my new husband and family.
I explained to God (as if He didn't already know all of this!) that I was no good to Him dead. I reminded Him that I couldn't witness to anyone or be a testimony for Him if I died in this trial.
I told God alot of things that day, but mainly I just prayed for strength for what was to come. And then came the most important question of all, I simply said, "God, if you tell me I can make it then I know I will come through whatever lies ahead. But if I'm not going to make it out of this storm, please send comfort and peace to my family."
I told God that I needed to hear from Him that day. I had come to a place that I HAD to hear the voice of the Lord.
I prayed and then became caught up in the Holy Ghost. It was as if nothing else in the world existed. For a time, I wasn't even in my room. I forgot the pain, sickness and weakness and I was in a world where no care, worries or anxiety existed. It was just me and Jesus and I wanted to stay there forever. I felt the sweet rain of heaven flood my soul and heal my wounded spirit.
I walked with God, caught up in the Holy Ghost and then I fell silent, waiting for Him to speak.
I had my Bible in my lap and felt led to just open it and read. With my eyes still shut I opened my Bible and read the first Scripture that my eyes fell on. It was Isaiah 54:17 and it says, "No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper..."
I felt a confirmation in my Spirit that this was indeed the Lord speaking to me, but I still felt that there was more. I wasn't going to give up until God himself spoke into my situation!
I began to pray in the Holy Ghost some more and felt that I should lay my hands on my husband and pray for him. In many ways I believe this trial was harder on him than it was on me. I knew I could take whatever I had to take, but with him, he just had to sit back and watch me suffer without being able to do anything about it.
I have NEVER laid hands on anyone while in prayer and certainly have never done so to my husband, but I knew God had a purpose for this, so I followed what I felt was the voice of God prompting me to do something I had never done.
I laid my hands on Seth and began to pray. I fought with everything in me against the depression, the fear and the voice of the enemy that was telling me I would never survive this storm.
As I began to pray, I felt a chill in the room as if Satan had also joined the prayer meeting to discourage and bring fear and doubt. I felt as if I was running into a brick wall and that my answer would never come. I began to speak to that spirit of fear and I told the devil just what I thought of him. I reminded him that he could not touch me unless God allowed him to and I fought back with every Scripture I knew.
The devil hates and fears a child of God who knows who they are and what he is!
I was very weak and sick at the time so physically, I did not have alot of strength to do battle with the enemy, but in my spirit, I had never felt stronger.
The longer I prayed I felt that wall weakening and began to feel a "break through" in the Holy Ghost.
As I pushed through in the Spirit, still with my hands on Seth, I felt the Voice of the Lord speak to me this promise, "You will go through this trial and nothing will be lost."
My mind immediately flashed back to the story of the three Hebrew boys who were thrown into the fiery furnace but when they came out, their hair wasn't singed and their clothes didn't even smell of smoke. They were untouched and safe from the trial that roared around them. No, they were not delieverd, they had to walk through the fire, but in the end, there wasn't a trace of harm. They came through and nothing was lost!
I began to thank the Lord and then I told Seth what I felt God had spoken to me.
Although things looked very bleak at the time, I knew that I had received my promise and we WOULD make it through!
I shared this story with you, not to exalt myself or make me seem "super spiritual" or anything more than a human being full of flaws and short comings, but I shared this story so that you can see where I came from.
And now, one year later I have found God's promises to be true!
I now stand on the other side of the storm and NOTHING has been lost!
We are stronger and more blessed than before we went through this trial.
I was told July 12, 2012 that I am CANCER FREE!
I did have to undergo a minor, surgical biopsy and had some scar tissue removed for testing, but all the tests came back negative and my cancer has been declared to be in remission.
Not only that but we have been seeking coverage for our medical bills for over a year.
We had amassed a substantial amount of money for all the doctor visits, treatments and hospital stays and there was NO way we would ever be able to pay it back.
Although we had applied for State aid, we were told by our case workers, lawyers and even a State Senator that there was no way we would receive coverage because the State had so many right offs already applied for that ours would get pushed to the back of the pile and in the end, would probably get lost in the shuffle.
I had just about given up hope of ever getting the bills paid outside of filing bankruptcy (which was not something we wanted to do) and I had buried the prayer and rolled the grave stone over it, so to speak.
Then one Tuesday night Bro Nathan Holmes preached a message, "The Cry That Puts God to Work."
Thankfully my husband had a little more faith than I did about the situation and said he had prayed and already felt that God had taken care of it. After hearing Bro Nathan's message, I uncovered my buried trial and began to cry and pray over it again.
About two weeks later, just last Thursday (the same day I was declared cancer free) I received a phone call from the State case worker telling me that my claim had been accepted and ALL of my medical bills from May 2011, present and future were completely TAKEN CARE OF!
Yes, God STILL answers prayer! What a wonderful day of tears, laughter and rejoicing!
I believe I felt like the children of Israel must've felt when they were led out of Egypt. We were cancer free and debt free all in one day! I felt like a new person!
Yes, we walked through the Storm, we spent many sleepless nights due to pain and sickness, we were not delivered immediately like some, we had to walk through the fire but in the end, we came through the trial and nothing was lost!
God always keeps in promises. You might have to walk through the fiery furnace, but if God has given you a promise of deliverance, it WILL come to pass!
Now I can say I fought against cancer and I won. I stand on the other side of pain and heartache and I am a survivor!
I did not lose my home, my marriage, my health, my lung or my financial reputation because God promised that although I would have to walk through the fire, I would come out on the other side and NOTHING would be lost.
I had just come home from an 18 day stay in the hospital after two surgeries and my first chemotherapy treatment.
I was broken, scared and grieving for my new husband and family who were also scared about what was to come.
I felt like a ship on a very stormy and uncertain sea being tossed about. I knew that my Anchor was Jesus Christ and I also knew that if He would speak peace into my storm, everything would be alright.
I remember being so weak I could hardly walk across the floor without help, I was also on oxygen and breathing was very difficult. But I knew that I MUST touch God that day.
Have you ever felt that you needed a Word from the Lord? I don't mean just a nice thought or even a Scripture but that you need God to audibly speak to you a promise just to hold you through the Storm.
That's how I felt that day. I needed to hear the voice of God telling me that I would make it. I knew that if God said I would make it, no matter what I had to face or go through, I WOULD make it!
I struggled my way into our bedroom, grabbed my Bible and sat down in our rocking chair and began to talk to God. I didn't have alot of strength so it was a very quiet and subdued prayer meeting but God heard me.
My husband was doing some work in our room and asked what was wrong when I came in (I was crying and visibly upset.)
I told him that I just needed to talk to God and needed God to talk to me. Prayer wasn't an unusual thing in our home so he just went about what he was doing while I began to pray.
I have never had a prayer meeting quite like the one I had that day. I just began to tell God how I felt and explained all of my worries and fears.
I told God that I wanted to live to have children and see them raised, I wanted to live to see the next day and I didn't want to leave my new husband and family.
I explained to God (as if He didn't already know all of this!) that I was no good to Him dead. I reminded Him that I couldn't witness to anyone or be a testimony for Him if I died in this trial.
I told God alot of things that day, but mainly I just prayed for strength for what was to come. And then came the most important question of all, I simply said, "God, if you tell me I can make it then I know I will come through whatever lies ahead. But if I'm not going to make it out of this storm, please send comfort and peace to my family."
I told God that I needed to hear from Him that day. I had come to a place that I HAD to hear the voice of the Lord.
I prayed and then became caught up in the Holy Ghost. It was as if nothing else in the world existed. For a time, I wasn't even in my room. I forgot the pain, sickness and weakness and I was in a world where no care, worries or anxiety existed. It was just me and Jesus and I wanted to stay there forever. I felt the sweet rain of heaven flood my soul and heal my wounded spirit.
I walked with God, caught up in the Holy Ghost and then I fell silent, waiting for Him to speak.
I had my Bible in my lap and felt led to just open it and read. With my eyes still shut I opened my Bible and read the first Scripture that my eyes fell on. It was Isaiah 54:17 and it says, "No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper..."
I felt a confirmation in my Spirit that this was indeed the Lord speaking to me, but I still felt that there was more. I wasn't going to give up until God himself spoke into my situation!
I began to pray in the Holy Ghost some more and felt that I should lay my hands on my husband and pray for him. In many ways I believe this trial was harder on him than it was on me. I knew I could take whatever I had to take, but with him, he just had to sit back and watch me suffer without being able to do anything about it.
I have NEVER laid hands on anyone while in prayer and certainly have never done so to my husband, but I knew God had a purpose for this, so I followed what I felt was the voice of God prompting me to do something I had never done.
I laid my hands on Seth and began to pray. I fought with everything in me against the depression, the fear and the voice of the enemy that was telling me I would never survive this storm.
As I began to pray, I felt a chill in the room as if Satan had also joined the prayer meeting to discourage and bring fear and doubt. I felt as if I was running into a brick wall and that my answer would never come. I began to speak to that spirit of fear and I told the devil just what I thought of him. I reminded him that he could not touch me unless God allowed him to and I fought back with every Scripture I knew.
The devil hates and fears a child of God who knows who they are and what he is!
I was very weak and sick at the time so physically, I did not have alot of strength to do battle with the enemy, but in my spirit, I had never felt stronger.
The longer I prayed I felt that wall weakening and began to feel a "break through" in the Holy Ghost.
As I pushed through in the Spirit, still with my hands on Seth, I felt the Voice of the Lord speak to me this promise, "You will go through this trial and nothing will be lost."
My mind immediately flashed back to the story of the three Hebrew boys who were thrown into the fiery furnace but when they came out, their hair wasn't singed and their clothes didn't even smell of smoke. They were untouched and safe from the trial that roared around them. No, they were not delieverd, they had to walk through the fire, but in the end, there wasn't a trace of harm. They came through and nothing was lost!
I began to thank the Lord and then I told Seth what I felt God had spoken to me.
Although things looked very bleak at the time, I knew that I had received my promise and we WOULD make it through!
I shared this story with you, not to exalt myself or make me seem "super spiritual" or anything more than a human being full of flaws and short comings, but I shared this story so that you can see where I came from.
And now, one year later I have found God's promises to be true!
I now stand on the other side of the storm and NOTHING has been lost!
We are stronger and more blessed than before we went through this trial.
I was told July 12, 2012 that I am CANCER FREE!
I did have to undergo a minor, surgical biopsy and had some scar tissue removed for testing, but all the tests came back negative and my cancer has been declared to be in remission.
Not only that but we have been seeking coverage for our medical bills for over a year.
We had amassed a substantial amount of money for all the doctor visits, treatments and hospital stays and there was NO way we would ever be able to pay it back.
Although we had applied for State aid, we were told by our case workers, lawyers and even a State Senator that there was no way we would receive coverage because the State had so many right offs already applied for that ours would get pushed to the back of the pile and in the end, would probably get lost in the shuffle.
I had just about given up hope of ever getting the bills paid outside of filing bankruptcy (which was not something we wanted to do) and I had buried the prayer and rolled the grave stone over it, so to speak.
Then one Tuesday night Bro Nathan Holmes preached a message, "The Cry That Puts God to Work."
Thankfully my husband had a little more faith than I did about the situation and said he had prayed and already felt that God had taken care of it. After hearing Bro Nathan's message, I uncovered my buried trial and began to cry and pray over it again.
About two weeks later, just last Thursday (the same day I was declared cancer free) I received a phone call from the State case worker telling me that my claim had been accepted and ALL of my medical bills from May 2011, present and future were completely TAKEN CARE OF!
Yes, God STILL answers prayer! What a wonderful day of tears, laughter and rejoicing!
I believe I felt like the children of Israel must've felt when they were led out of Egypt. We were cancer free and debt free all in one day! I felt like a new person!
Yes, we walked through the Storm, we spent many sleepless nights due to pain and sickness, we were not delivered immediately like some, we had to walk through the fire but in the end, we came through the trial and nothing was lost!
God always keeps in promises. You might have to walk through the fiery furnace, but if God has given you a promise of deliverance, it WILL come to pass!
Now I can say I fought against cancer and I won. I stand on the other side of pain and heartache and I am a survivor!
I did not lose my home, my marriage, my health, my lung or my financial reputation because God promised that although I would have to walk through the fire, I would come out on the other side and NOTHING would be lost.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Questions or Doubt?
We all have questions in our lives. Everyone of us has faced a trial where we just didn't understand why it was happening to us, what the purpose was or why like others we were not taken out of the trial.
Sometimes it seems that we have been faithful to the church, faithful in prayer and faithful to God and then when a trial comes our way we are forced to walk through the fire. And yet again there are others who have never served God one day in their lives and when they are faced with similar circumstances they are delivered immediately with seemingly no pain or "trial."
Why does this happen? I wish I knew. I have had similar questions of late. I often wonder, why is this happening to us? Why wasn't I healed instantly and spared the pain and suffering? Why isn't it over? Why, why why??
Yes, I will be honest with you, I do have questions, and not many answers. Sometimes we will never have answers to the questions life presents to us.
Sometimes it is a struggle to hope when all hope has been taken away, trust when we feel we can't trust anyone and have faith when we feel that all of our faith has been slowly drained away in a sea of unanswered questions. As humans, we will have questions. That is normal and natural. We cannot stop our fallible brains from constantly questioning the circumstances we are faced with.
But there is a difference between questions and doubt. True, questions can lead to doubt but then am I supposed to blindly walk through life somehow shutting off my brain and not questioning anything? I think not.
I will be completely honest with you and admit, yes, I do have questions. I don't understand why this is happening and sometimes it is a struggle to "keep the faith" and not become angry and bitter with God and man.
Yes, I question; but I do not doubt.
I don't doubt God, I don't doubt His Word. I do not doubt that God sees the big picture and somehow in the midst of this storm He is working everything for my good. I don't doubt that in the fire, God is there and He will direct my path. I do not doubt that God can heal and I don't doubt that He will heal me, but I don't know how and when that healing will come. Will it be a miracle? Or come through the hands of my doctor after great pain and suffering?
I have questions, but not doubt.
Several years back, I faced what I considered at the time to be the worst trial of my life. I attended a small church and there was no youth group and no support from the leadership. During this trial I had no one to turn to for help and encouragement. I learned that my relationship was with God and not the church. Over the years I had mistakenly developed a relationship with the church but not God.
Oh I thought my relationship was with God but when my faith in man was tested I realized that I had placed my faith and trust in man and not God.
I grabbed my Bible and began to dig out a prayer life and walk with God. There were many sleepless nights that I cried myself to sleep and when I felt that all hope was lost I would open the Word of God and find the strength that I needed to face another day.
Over the years my Bible has become worn and faded. There are tear stains on those pages and many passages are marked and highlighted. The cover is worn and the words hardly recognizable but I love that old Bible. When I need to hear the voice of God I don't pick up my new Bible, I always go to my old, worn out one because I have pages marked where God brought me through different trials in my life.
My former pastor liked to call that "bear hides on the wall." Now I thank God for every trial I went through in the past because if I hadn't slain the lion and the bear I would never be able to face the Goliath that I am fighting now.
I know one day, maybe years from now I will be able to look back and thank God for this trial. He has showed himself to be so real and true through all of this. I have never felt so close to God as I have in the midst of this storm.
Alot of people like to skip right past the part about the lion and bear and let's just forget that David had to face Goliath and they jump straight to the passage of David being a "Man after God's own heart." We all tell of how David was such a humble man, a man of great strength and wisdom and how he was a wonderful king.
But first, before he could be great for God he had to become little. In the back woods of the hill country, where nobody else was watching, no metals to be won and no songs to be sung, David had to face the lion and bear to protect what was his.
When the day came to face Goliath, David did not arm himself with the Kings armor but he used his old, trusty weapons. He had a tried and true weapon that He knew worked. It was already marked with the blood of previous enemies and had some "tear stains" on it if I can put it that way.
David put his trust in the Lord and in the end, he was victorious.
I know there is much to be said for "positive thinking" and building ones self up through a positive attitude and I believe in all of that. I am not scorning those things, please don't get me wrong.
But when I face Goliath, I need a little more than just a positive attitude. I want to know that the weapon I have used to slaughter the other giants in my life is still by my side because I have tried that weapon and I know it works.
I will fight and overcome this Goliath just like I did the lion and bear. I will fight with the Sword of the Lord (God's Word) and with prayer.
I recently spoke to the Christian School at my church and one thing I told them was to grab their Bible, cry over it, let their tears stain the pages, highlight it and become familiar with it.
I know, when great trials come and they must face Goliath if they have the weapon that is tried and true they will always come out a victor. Yes, there will be battle scars and there will be hurt and pain but in the end, they will overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony.
Blessings,
-Amy
Sometimes it seems that we have been faithful to the church, faithful in prayer and faithful to God and then when a trial comes our way we are forced to walk through the fire. And yet again there are others who have never served God one day in their lives and when they are faced with similar circumstances they are delivered immediately with seemingly no pain or "trial."
Why does this happen? I wish I knew. I have had similar questions of late. I often wonder, why is this happening to us? Why wasn't I healed instantly and spared the pain and suffering? Why isn't it over? Why, why why??
Yes, I will be honest with you, I do have questions, and not many answers. Sometimes we will never have answers to the questions life presents to us.
Sometimes it is a struggle to hope when all hope has been taken away, trust when we feel we can't trust anyone and have faith when we feel that all of our faith has been slowly drained away in a sea of unanswered questions. As humans, we will have questions. That is normal and natural. We cannot stop our fallible brains from constantly questioning the circumstances we are faced with.
But there is a difference between questions and doubt. True, questions can lead to doubt but then am I supposed to blindly walk through life somehow shutting off my brain and not questioning anything? I think not.
I will be completely honest with you and admit, yes, I do have questions. I don't understand why this is happening and sometimes it is a struggle to "keep the faith" and not become angry and bitter with God and man.
Yes, I question; but I do not doubt.
I don't doubt God, I don't doubt His Word. I do not doubt that God sees the big picture and somehow in the midst of this storm He is working everything for my good. I don't doubt that in the fire, God is there and He will direct my path. I do not doubt that God can heal and I don't doubt that He will heal me, but I don't know how and when that healing will come. Will it be a miracle? Or come through the hands of my doctor after great pain and suffering?
I have questions, but not doubt.
Several years back, I faced what I considered at the time to be the worst trial of my life. I attended a small church and there was no youth group and no support from the leadership. During this trial I had no one to turn to for help and encouragement. I learned that my relationship was with God and not the church. Over the years I had mistakenly developed a relationship with the church but not God.
Oh I thought my relationship was with God but when my faith in man was tested I realized that I had placed my faith and trust in man and not God.
I grabbed my Bible and began to dig out a prayer life and walk with God. There were many sleepless nights that I cried myself to sleep and when I felt that all hope was lost I would open the Word of God and find the strength that I needed to face another day.
Over the years my Bible has become worn and faded. There are tear stains on those pages and many passages are marked and highlighted. The cover is worn and the words hardly recognizable but I love that old Bible. When I need to hear the voice of God I don't pick up my new Bible, I always go to my old, worn out one because I have pages marked where God brought me through different trials in my life.
My former pastor liked to call that "bear hides on the wall." Now I thank God for every trial I went through in the past because if I hadn't slain the lion and the bear I would never be able to face the Goliath that I am fighting now.
I know one day, maybe years from now I will be able to look back and thank God for this trial. He has showed himself to be so real and true through all of this. I have never felt so close to God as I have in the midst of this storm.
Alot of people like to skip right past the part about the lion and bear and let's just forget that David had to face Goliath and they jump straight to the passage of David being a "Man after God's own heart." We all tell of how David was such a humble man, a man of great strength and wisdom and how he was a wonderful king.
But first, before he could be great for God he had to become little. In the back woods of the hill country, where nobody else was watching, no metals to be won and no songs to be sung, David had to face the lion and bear to protect what was his.
When the day came to face Goliath, David did not arm himself with the Kings armor but he used his old, trusty weapons. He had a tried and true weapon that He knew worked. It was already marked with the blood of previous enemies and had some "tear stains" on it if I can put it that way.
David put his trust in the Lord and in the end, he was victorious.
I know there is much to be said for "positive thinking" and building ones self up through a positive attitude and I believe in all of that. I am not scorning those things, please don't get me wrong.
But when I face Goliath, I need a little more than just a positive attitude. I want to know that the weapon I have used to slaughter the other giants in my life is still by my side because I have tried that weapon and I know it works.
I will fight and overcome this Goliath just like I did the lion and bear. I will fight with the Sword of the Lord (God's Word) and with prayer.
I recently spoke to the Christian School at my church and one thing I told them was to grab their Bible, cry over it, let their tears stain the pages, highlight it and become familiar with it.
I know, when great trials come and they must face Goliath if they have the weapon that is tried and true they will always come out a victor. Yes, there will be battle scars and there will be hurt and pain but in the end, they will overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony.
Blessings,
-Amy
Monday, June 11, 2012
Test Result Update
So for those of you who haven't heard my recent update on my test results I will explain everything here.
I received my latest test results from my PET scan last Friday, June 8 and I must admit, it wasn't at all what I had hoped for.
After 8 months of chemo and 22 rounds of radiation I was really expecting to hear that all of the cancer was gone and I was free to go and live my life.
On the contrary, my doctor greeted me with a concerned expression and began asking me how I was feeling. I replied that I felt great and "normal." I joined the gym in May and have been working out regularly both cardio and strength training. I also joined a Zumba class which I have enjoyed immensely.
I dare say I have out worked many of my younger and healthier friends!
Needless to say, with this wonderful report of my recovery I was expecting my doctor to be quite impressed. He wasn't.
He showed us my first PET scan back in July of last year and as expected, the tumor on my right lung was glowing bright orange and completely covered my lung. He pointed out to us that the cancer was very 'alive' and active at that time.
Then he pulled up my latest test results from May 29, 2012 and at first, I couldn't see anything on the lung. Both lungs were completely black, which is air and is supposed to look like that.
Then my doctor zoomed in and I could see three very tiny pink spots on the outer ring of the right lung about the size of a nickel.
He explained that it could just be inflammation from allergies or it could be some small areas of lymphoma still holding on. The only way we will know for sure is to do a biopsy.
There are two types of biopsy that is available for testing the spots on my lung. I could have a CT biopsy where they would take a CT scan while going in through my chest wall and biopsying the spots with long needles or I could have another surgical biopsy where they would remove the upper lobe of my right lung (and possibly more) and cut the lung into sections and test the spots that way. The spots are too small simply just to remove them from the lung.
My doctor didn't recommend the CT biopsy because I had 5 of those the first time around just trying to figure out what type of cancer I had and as large as the mass was they still never gathered any live cells.
So it looks like my only option at this point will be to have a surgical biopsy, lose a lobe of my lung to testing and hope that it's just inflammation and not cancer.
I will speak with the surgeon who performed my first biopsy sometime in the next week to discuss my options.
If it's just inflammation from something as minor as allergies or a cold, they will still remove the inflamed part of the lung, sew me up and just watch me. No treatments or further testing will be necessary at that time.
If it is proved to be cancerous, they will remove the infected part of the lung and then do hard chemo for about a month.
For hard chemo, I would be kept in a state of drug induced coma for the duration of the treatments, and they would remove all of my bone marrow via IV just as if I was donating blood. They would then run in the chemo treatments and basically strip me of everything. My doctor told me they would take me down to nothing as if I was a newborn baby starting out all over again. I would lose all of my hair, DNA chain would be slightly changed, blood type might change and I would have to have all of my infant and toddler shots all over again.
During these treatments they would grow my bone marrow and create stem cells from my own blood. This process is called "stem cell transplants."
At the end of this process they would re-inject my bone marrow back into my body along with the stem cells they had grew and I would slowly be brought out of the coma state.
This process and treatment is extremely risky and used as a last resort only because the process itself can kill you.
BUT if you go through it and survive you are forever cured of Lymphoma and it can never come back because the DNA and cells in your body that were compiled to create the cancer cells have been broken and destroyed forever. This is not to say that you wouldn't get another type of cancer though as this process only cures Lymphoma.
I pray that I do not have to experience this as it would be harder than anything I have been through so far. I am asking anyone and everyone who reads this to please pray for me and my husband.
Add us to your prayer list at church and please hold us up in your daily prayer time as we are asking God for a miracle that I won't have to experience this.
I will update my blog after we speak with the surgeon and see what he recommends.
As it stands now, we really don't know anymore than we did before seeing the doctor except that there is still something on the lung. It could be inflammation or cancer, at this point we won't know until further testing is done.
I received my latest test results from my PET scan last Friday, June 8 and I must admit, it wasn't at all what I had hoped for.
After 8 months of chemo and 22 rounds of radiation I was really expecting to hear that all of the cancer was gone and I was free to go and live my life.
On the contrary, my doctor greeted me with a concerned expression and began asking me how I was feeling. I replied that I felt great and "normal." I joined the gym in May and have been working out regularly both cardio and strength training. I also joined a Zumba class which I have enjoyed immensely.
I dare say I have out worked many of my younger and healthier friends!
Needless to say, with this wonderful report of my recovery I was expecting my doctor to be quite impressed. He wasn't.
He showed us my first PET scan back in July of last year and as expected, the tumor on my right lung was glowing bright orange and completely covered my lung. He pointed out to us that the cancer was very 'alive' and active at that time.
Then he pulled up my latest test results from May 29, 2012 and at first, I couldn't see anything on the lung. Both lungs were completely black, which is air and is supposed to look like that.
Then my doctor zoomed in and I could see three very tiny pink spots on the outer ring of the right lung about the size of a nickel.
He explained that it could just be inflammation from allergies or it could be some small areas of lymphoma still holding on. The only way we will know for sure is to do a biopsy.
There are two types of biopsy that is available for testing the spots on my lung. I could have a CT biopsy where they would take a CT scan while going in through my chest wall and biopsying the spots with long needles or I could have another surgical biopsy where they would remove the upper lobe of my right lung (and possibly more) and cut the lung into sections and test the spots that way. The spots are too small simply just to remove them from the lung.
My doctor didn't recommend the CT biopsy because I had 5 of those the first time around just trying to figure out what type of cancer I had and as large as the mass was they still never gathered any live cells.
So it looks like my only option at this point will be to have a surgical biopsy, lose a lobe of my lung to testing and hope that it's just inflammation and not cancer.
I will speak with the surgeon who performed my first biopsy sometime in the next week to discuss my options.
If it's just inflammation from something as minor as allergies or a cold, they will still remove the inflamed part of the lung, sew me up and just watch me. No treatments or further testing will be necessary at that time.
If it is proved to be cancerous, they will remove the infected part of the lung and then do hard chemo for about a month.
For hard chemo, I would be kept in a state of drug induced coma for the duration of the treatments, and they would remove all of my bone marrow via IV just as if I was donating blood. They would then run in the chemo treatments and basically strip me of everything. My doctor told me they would take me down to nothing as if I was a newborn baby starting out all over again. I would lose all of my hair, DNA chain would be slightly changed, blood type might change and I would have to have all of my infant and toddler shots all over again.
During these treatments they would grow my bone marrow and create stem cells from my own blood. This process is called "stem cell transplants."
At the end of this process they would re-inject my bone marrow back into my body along with the stem cells they had grew and I would slowly be brought out of the coma state.
This process and treatment is extremely risky and used as a last resort only because the process itself can kill you.
BUT if you go through it and survive you are forever cured of Lymphoma and it can never come back because the DNA and cells in your body that were compiled to create the cancer cells have been broken and destroyed forever. This is not to say that you wouldn't get another type of cancer though as this process only cures Lymphoma.
I pray that I do not have to experience this as it would be harder than anything I have been through so far. I am asking anyone and everyone who reads this to please pray for me and my husband.
Add us to your prayer list at church and please hold us up in your daily prayer time as we are asking God for a miracle that I won't have to experience this.
I will update my blog after we speak with the surgeon and see what he recommends.
As it stands now, we really don't know anymore than we did before seeing the doctor except that there is still something on the lung. It could be inflammation or cancer, at this point we won't know until further testing is done.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Recovery PART 2
I began my last post about recovery primarily addressing the issues of emotional and mental recovery.
That was my main focal point because I felt that it was, in my case, the hardest and most difficult. This could be different for different people but in my experience talking to cancer patients and survivors I found that everyone, no matter what type of cancer or what type of personality they had, they ALL suffered emotionally and mentally due to the cancer and treatments they went through. Equally the recovery process in the emotional and mental areas were challenging for all so I felt it was a priority to address that issue first.
Now I will address the physical appearance aspect of recovery, namely the hair.
I did not have any part of my body removed or altered so I cannot address the physical recovery of what some patients experience, primarily the breast cancer survivors. The only thing I lost physically was my hair so that is all I feel that I have the experience and authority to address.
As a woman, my hair was a really big part of me. Although I wasn't obsessed with my hair, I still enjoyed having it on my head. (ha!) When I lost my hair to chemotherapy treatments I refused to look in the mirror for two weeks just because I was afraid of seeing myself bald. It helped to have a loving and caring husband who supported me and thought I was beautiful with 4 feet of hair or none at all.
I'll never forget the day he came home from work to see my head wrapped in a "do rag" and asked somewhat hesitantly if I had lost my hair. We knew that day was coming because for a week I had been losing huge clumps of hair and then finally, while shampooing it all came out.
I told him that yes, I had washed my hair earlier that day and what remained had said goodbye.
He didn't say a word, just walked over to me, hugged me close and quietly asked if he could remove my head rag. I had never hid anything from him before and we always had a very open relationship but that day I was tempted to tell him "no" and hide behind my little covering.
However, I knew it meant alot to him for me to trust him with my new appearance so I allowed him to remove my head covering and see, for the first time, his new bride completely bald.
He didn't even hesitate. He swept me up in his arms, gave me a kiss on the top of my now bald head and said with pride shining from his eyes, "this doesn't change you at all. You are still the most beautiful girl I have ever saw...and I think your bald head is cute."
From that day forward I learned to be proud of my little, shiny, bald head.
It was around the beginning of April that my hair really started coming in. It began to come back in March but was hard to see since it was just like peach fuzz.
Now it's the beginning of June and my hair is about 2 - 2 1/2 inches long. I can FINALLY style it and I'm having so much fun coming up with different styles and ways of fixing my hair.
Obviously it's not long enough to put up so finding ways to style it and still look feminine has been somewhat of a challenge but youtube tutorials have proven to be invaluable.
I have grown to love my short "Pixie" style and even my husband says he adores it.
At this point, I'm just thankful for hair! I will try to include some pictures of my process to show you how far it's come.
I hope this has been interesting and helpful for you!
May
End of May
June
That was my main focal point because I felt that it was, in my case, the hardest and most difficult. This could be different for different people but in my experience talking to cancer patients and survivors I found that everyone, no matter what type of cancer or what type of personality they had, they ALL suffered emotionally and mentally due to the cancer and treatments they went through. Equally the recovery process in the emotional and mental areas were challenging for all so I felt it was a priority to address that issue first.
Now I will address the physical appearance aspect of recovery, namely the hair.
I did not have any part of my body removed or altered so I cannot address the physical recovery of what some patients experience, primarily the breast cancer survivors. The only thing I lost physically was my hair so that is all I feel that I have the experience and authority to address.
As a woman, my hair was a really big part of me. Although I wasn't obsessed with my hair, I still enjoyed having it on my head. (ha!) When I lost my hair to chemotherapy treatments I refused to look in the mirror for two weeks just because I was afraid of seeing myself bald. It helped to have a loving and caring husband who supported me and thought I was beautiful with 4 feet of hair or none at all.
I'll never forget the day he came home from work to see my head wrapped in a "do rag" and asked somewhat hesitantly if I had lost my hair. We knew that day was coming because for a week I had been losing huge clumps of hair and then finally, while shampooing it all came out.
I told him that yes, I had washed my hair earlier that day and what remained had said goodbye.
He didn't say a word, just walked over to me, hugged me close and quietly asked if he could remove my head rag. I had never hid anything from him before and we always had a very open relationship but that day I was tempted to tell him "no" and hide behind my little covering.
However, I knew it meant alot to him for me to trust him with my new appearance so I allowed him to remove my head covering and see, for the first time, his new bride completely bald.
He didn't even hesitate. He swept me up in his arms, gave me a kiss on the top of my now bald head and said with pride shining from his eyes, "this doesn't change you at all. You are still the most beautiful girl I have ever saw...and I think your bald head is cute."
From that day forward I learned to be proud of my little, shiny, bald head.
It was around the beginning of April that my hair really started coming in. It began to come back in March but was hard to see since it was just like peach fuzz.
Now it's the beginning of June and my hair is about 2 - 2 1/2 inches long. I can FINALLY style it and I'm having so much fun coming up with different styles and ways of fixing my hair.
Obviously it's not long enough to put up so finding ways to style it and still look feminine has been somewhat of a challenge but youtube tutorials have proven to be invaluable.
I have grown to love my short "Pixie" style and even my husband says he adores it.
At this point, I'm just thankful for hair! I will try to include some pictures of my process to show you how far it's come.
I hope this has been interesting and helpful for you!
May
End of May
June
Recovery PART 1
We've come through the winter and spring and now summer is upon us.
Although these are seasons of the year, I feel that I am just beginning to enter the "spring" of my life.
It has been a very long and painful road since I was told I had cancer June 8, 2011 and now on June 8, 2012 I will receive my latest test results which will determine if I am cancer free or not.
In this post I'm going to share with you about my recovery from cancer. I have read many posts from different cancer patients and survivors and although I hear alot about the treatments and journey TO recovery, I haven't heard much about the actual recovery process itself.
So if you are a fellow cancer patient or perhaps you have a loved one or friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, I am writing this to you. I want YOU to know I understand where you're at, I've been there myself and hopefully something I say will encourage you that trouble doesn't last always. God promised joy in the morning and that trials, no matter how hard or dark MUST come to an end.
Ok, so recovery for me began the first of March. I had completed all prescribed treatments (8 months of chemotherapy and 22 days of radiation) This is also when my hair began to grow back.
I had become accustomed to my bald head so seeing little sprigs of hair popping up in various places was such a welcome sight!
I was expecting a completely different looking set of hair as my doctors had warned me that I could have a different hair color and texture, but I did not experience that to the same degree as others have.
My hair has grown in slightly lighter than before and a little more coarse but that is probably unnoticeable to those who aren't looking for it.
I spent alot of days just resting and relaxing from the months of taxing doctor visits, hospital stays and trauma that was unleashed on my body. I took time for "me" and to do the things that I enjoyed.
I also began to completely change my eating habits to include loads of fresh, raw fruits and vegetables and organic produce in order to rebuild my body from the disaster the poisonous effects of chemo had accomplished within me.
I pampered myself and just enjoyed being alive. This was all very well and good but it wasn't long before a restlessness was birthed within me. I began to feel that I should be "doing" something. Anxiety and depression started knocking on my door and I began to feel trapped.
I would worry that I would never fully recover and be able to reestablish myself into the "real" world. My hair was long enough to wear without being covered around April but even though I was excited about this, I still felt that every time I stepped out of the house my short hair labeled me "Cancer Survivor"'
Although my friends and family assured me that I looked "great" and the label of Cancer Survivor was something to wear with pride I felt that it somehow hindered me. I'm not ashamed of my experience and therefore not ashamed of my short hair but I did not desire to be DEFINED by it.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am normally a positive, happy person with a bubbly personality but when you experience the emotional trauma for a year like I experienced, your natural personality can take a hit.
I became angry, sad, upset, disappointed and depressed. I felt as though I was riding a giant swing and at any given time my emotions would "swing" from one extreme to the other. Never having experienced severe mood swings or depression before, I was left stripped of everything and scared of what may happen next.
I was still attending church faithfully, still involved, still praying and reading my Bible, still happily married to my husband and doing everything I knew to be "right" and "good" but I felt so alone and empty.
There is really no way to describe how broken and stripped one can feel after experiencing traumatic emotional and mental pain. The only way I know to describe it was I felt mentally and emotionally raped.
I had to honor of meeting and talking to a fellow cancer survivor and she described those feelings by telling me that what I was experiencing was a loss of innocence. My body had betrayed me and done something that wasn't "supposed" to happen and I had lost my trust and innocence in my own body.
That was so accurate to the things I was experiencing and feeling that all I could do was cry. I literally felt like my body had turned me over to a hostile agent and I was being held hostage against my own will. The one thing that I had loved, taken care of and trusted to be faithful to me all my life had done the worst possible thing it could do and had tried to destroy me.
I began to try to work through my feelings as best as I could. I did countless hours of online research of different cancer patients and how they described recovery, I looked up medical causes and remedies, I delved into the physiological and spiritual aspect of things and when it was all said and done at the end of the day all I could come up with was what I was experiencing was completely "normal" for cancer patients.
BUT knowing that what I felt inside was "normal" didn't necessarily help me.
Now I want to stop right here and say if your are a recovering cancer patient trying to find your way back in life and you're experiencing these things, DON'T GIVE UP!!! First of all I would tell you to take a deep breath and give yourself some TIME. My problem was I felt as though I had taken plenty of time for me and now it was time to reestablish myself in the real world.
Well I have news for you honey, it took months, possibly years of treatments to get you to where you are today and it will take every bit that long to get you BACK to where you were before all of this happened.
Don't become overwhelmed by the odds stacked against you, you fought cancer and won by taking it one day at a time, so that's exactly how you're going to overcome the recovery process.
If you feel that it's too much for you to handle DO NOT hesitate to make an appointment with your doctor because hormone therapy might be in order and you may just need to speak with a counsellor and get your emotions in the open so you can better deal with things.
My problem was I had been strong for everyone for so long throughout the treatment process that when it was finally all over I felt that I could finally let my guard down and be afraid and show my anxiety because I didn't have to be strong for anyone anymore. I could show my true emotions and let them be strong for me.
That's good to do that and to deal with your emotions but you don't want to continually live in those negative emotions and keep reliving the past. There comes a time when you need to lay everything that was done to you to rest and "forget about it as soon as you can" and MOVE ON!
You have a bright, new future ahead of you and you don't want to cloud it up by looking over your shoulder to the things that might have been or could have been had this experience not happened to you.
In closing I want to say that dealing with your emotions will take time, prayer and effort. When you feel yourself spiraling downward into that black hole of helplessness and worthlessness, just find that warrior in you that rose up and said "I will NOT be defeated by cancer!" and rise up against those negative feelings and emotions in the same way and determine that you WILL NOT be conquered.
It also helps to find an activity you enjoy and throw yourself into it with all of your heart. Do whatever you must to get your mind off of the negativity and back onto something that is positive.
I will continue my experiences of my recovery journey in another post titled "Recovery PART 2"
Stick around! ;)
Although these are seasons of the year, I feel that I am just beginning to enter the "spring" of my life.
It has been a very long and painful road since I was told I had cancer June 8, 2011 and now on June 8, 2012 I will receive my latest test results which will determine if I am cancer free or not.
In this post I'm going to share with you about my recovery from cancer. I have read many posts from different cancer patients and survivors and although I hear alot about the treatments and journey TO recovery, I haven't heard much about the actual recovery process itself.
So if you are a fellow cancer patient or perhaps you have a loved one or friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, I am writing this to you. I want YOU to know I understand where you're at, I've been there myself and hopefully something I say will encourage you that trouble doesn't last always. God promised joy in the morning and that trials, no matter how hard or dark MUST come to an end.
Ok, so recovery for me began the first of March. I had completed all prescribed treatments (8 months of chemotherapy and 22 days of radiation) This is also when my hair began to grow back.
I had become accustomed to my bald head so seeing little sprigs of hair popping up in various places was such a welcome sight!
I was expecting a completely different looking set of hair as my doctors had warned me that I could have a different hair color and texture, but I did not experience that to the same degree as others have.
My hair has grown in slightly lighter than before and a little more coarse but that is probably unnoticeable to those who aren't looking for it.
I spent alot of days just resting and relaxing from the months of taxing doctor visits, hospital stays and trauma that was unleashed on my body. I took time for "me" and to do the things that I enjoyed.
I also began to completely change my eating habits to include loads of fresh, raw fruits and vegetables and organic produce in order to rebuild my body from the disaster the poisonous effects of chemo had accomplished within me.
I pampered myself and just enjoyed being alive. This was all very well and good but it wasn't long before a restlessness was birthed within me. I began to feel that I should be "doing" something. Anxiety and depression started knocking on my door and I began to feel trapped.
I would worry that I would never fully recover and be able to reestablish myself into the "real" world. My hair was long enough to wear without being covered around April but even though I was excited about this, I still felt that every time I stepped out of the house my short hair labeled me "Cancer Survivor"'
Although my friends and family assured me that I looked "great" and the label of Cancer Survivor was something to wear with pride I felt that it somehow hindered me. I'm not ashamed of my experience and therefore not ashamed of my short hair but I did not desire to be DEFINED by it.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am normally a positive, happy person with a bubbly personality but when you experience the emotional trauma for a year like I experienced, your natural personality can take a hit.
I became angry, sad, upset, disappointed and depressed. I felt as though I was riding a giant swing and at any given time my emotions would "swing" from one extreme to the other. Never having experienced severe mood swings or depression before, I was left stripped of everything and scared of what may happen next.
I was still attending church faithfully, still involved, still praying and reading my Bible, still happily married to my husband and doing everything I knew to be "right" and "good" but I felt so alone and empty.
There is really no way to describe how broken and stripped one can feel after experiencing traumatic emotional and mental pain. The only way I know to describe it was I felt mentally and emotionally raped.
I had to honor of meeting and talking to a fellow cancer survivor and she described those feelings by telling me that what I was experiencing was a loss of innocence. My body had betrayed me and done something that wasn't "supposed" to happen and I had lost my trust and innocence in my own body.
That was so accurate to the things I was experiencing and feeling that all I could do was cry. I literally felt like my body had turned me over to a hostile agent and I was being held hostage against my own will. The one thing that I had loved, taken care of and trusted to be faithful to me all my life had done the worst possible thing it could do and had tried to destroy me.
I began to try to work through my feelings as best as I could. I did countless hours of online research of different cancer patients and how they described recovery, I looked up medical causes and remedies, I delved into the physiological and spiritual aspect of things and when it was all said and done at the end of the day all I could come up with was what I was experiencing was completely "normal" for cancer patients.
BUT knowing that what I felt inside was "normal" didn't necessarily help me.
Now I want to stop right here and say if your are a recovering cancer patient trying to find your way back in life and you're experiencing these things, DON'T GIVE UP!!! First of all I would tell you to take a deep breath and give yourself some TIME. My problem was I felt as though I had taken plenty of time for me and now it was time to reestablish myself in the real world.
Well I have news for you honey, it took months, possibly years of treatments to get you to where you are today and it will take every bit that long to get you BACK to where you were before all of this happened.
Don't become overwhelmed by the odds stacked against you, you fought cancer and won by taking it one day at a time, so that's exactly how you're going to overcome the recovery process.
If you feel that it's too much for you to handle DO NOT hesitate to make an appointment with your doctor because hormone therapy might be in order and you may just need to speak with a counsellor and get your emotions in the open so you can better deal with things.
My problem was I had been strong for everyone for so long throughout the treatment process that when it was finally all over I felt that I could finally let my guard down and be afraid and show my anxiety because I didn't have to be strong for anyone anymore. I could show my true emotions and let them be strong for me.
That's good to do that and to deal with your emotions but you don't want to continually live in those negative emotions and keep reliving the past. There comes a time when you need to lay everything that was done to you to rest and "forget about it as soon as you can" and MOVE ON!
You have a bright, new future ahead of you and you don't want to cloud it up by looking over your shoulder to the things that might have been or could have been had this experience not happened to you.
In closing I want to say that dealing with your emotions will take time, prayer and effort. When you feel yourself spiraling downward into that black hole of helplessness and worthlessness, just find that warrior in you that rose up and said "I will NOT be defeated by cancer!" and rise up against those negative feelings and emotions in the same way and determine that you WILL NOT be conquered.
It also helps to find an activity you enjoy and throw yourself into it with all of your heart. Do whatever you must to get your mind off of the negativity and back onto something that is positive.
I will continue my experiences of my recovery journey in another post titled "Recovery PART 2"
Stick around! ;)
Angels On Duty
It was my 6th chemo treatment and I was sitting in the large waiting room waiting to be called back to see the doctor.
I heard my name called along with someone else's and my husband, mother and I got up to follow the nurse back to the doctors office.
There were two people ahead of us and nobody behind us as we went back. We were seated in a large room with four chairs and were told that the nurse would be back shortly to collect some information.
As he entered the room the nurse looked around with a rather confused look on his face and asked, "Where is the other man?" I looked at him and said, "There isn't another man, there is only three of us." He said "I could've sworn I saw a fourth man walk in with you guys!" I calmly replied, "It was probably my angel. God knew I would need him today."
Yes I do believe God sent "Angels On Duty" that day to be with us through the storm.
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