The Beginning

I knew something wasn't right. I could feel it. For months I suffered with a persistent cough that would not go away and my chest felt heavy, but everyone gets a cold in the winter, right? I was sure that's all this was, just a minor cold that would go away. Besides, I didn't have time for such things; I had a wedding to plan!

I would marry the love of my life in a few short weeks and life couldn't be any better.

Our wedding was beautiful, our honeymoon something of a fairy tale and we began our life together. Young, happy, and very much in love.

April came and the cough got worse. I began to run a constant fever and experienced dizziness, black outs, loss of appetite and weight loss. The symptoms were too great now; something had to be done. I visited the emergency clinic one day on lunch break and was told I had pneumonia.

After one week of suffering and symptoms continually getting worse, I made an appointment with my doctor. She ran several tests and discovered I was severally anemic and also determined that I had a severe case of pneumonia.

I was treated for pneumonia for another 2 1/2 weeks, but when nothing improved, another test was ran.

It was a typical Wednesday at work. Beautiful summer weather and I was feeling some better that day than usual. I received a phone call from my doctor that my test results had come in and she would like to see me.

I met with my husband after work that day and together we made our way to Dr. Sanders office. She was very grave as she entered the room. In my heart I knew the news wasn't good, but we had just experienced the loss of my husband's grandmother just days before and I couldn't bear the thought of more bad news.

She sat us down and then with compassion in her eyes explained that what she saw on the chest xray wasn't typical pneumonia. She wasn't sure just what it was but she felt that I needed to be admitted to the hospital that day for further testing and a proper diagnoses.

With dread, we made our way to the hospital, not knowing what we may find out there. In the back of my mind a little voice whispered that this wasn't something of the ordinary, but this would change my life forever. I ignored these ominous warnings and tried to put on a brave face. After all, we had only been married barely 5 months. Nothing will happen to our happily ever after — right?

The morning of June 9th dawned bright and cheerful. Quite the contrast from what I was feeling inside my hospital room. Tests had been ran the night before and my husband, mother and I were waiting to hear back from the doctor.

That afternoon, one hour before my husband's grandmother's funeral, the doctor stepped in and was followed by the lung specialist.

Both doctors looked so serious and sad that I immediately knew it was cancer. I don't know how I knew but it was as if I had been forewarned and the day of reckoning had come.

My greatest fears were realized when Dr Kendrick looked at me and with tears in his eyes said, "I have looked over your tests and it's not good. What you have is consistent with either Sarcoma or Lymphoma cancer. I'm so sorry."

My young husband rushed to my side and we cried and held each other as the doctors looked on helplessly. As long as I live I will never forget that moment in my life. It was the darkest of days but even in the storm, God gave grace to see us through. As I smiled through the tears I looked at the doctor and calmly replied, "Well that's not the news anyone would want to hear at the age of 21, but God knows what He's doing."

The doctors were very kind and even offered to sit with me if I felt I needed additional time to take the news in, but I knew God's grace would be sufficient and we must face the storm.

My husband was so torn between staying with me that day or attending his grandmother's funeral where he was a pall bearer, but I sent him on. This was his last duty to a wonderful, Godly lady who had also fought cancer and I wanted him there.

I spent the rest of that day in tears. Although I was sad for what I knew would happen in the future, I wasn't afraid. I can honestly say from the moment of my diagnosis I didn't experience one moment of fear. Sad yes, grieving yes, but afraid? No. I felt an unexplainable amount of peace. I know this was only from God!

I was referred to a larger hospital to have several biopsy's done to determine just what type of cancer I had.

I had a total of five needle biopsy's - all unsuccessful in determining what was in my right lung area. At one point they discussed removing the entire right lung but this surgery was not advised because of my age and the extent of the surgery.

We finally met with Dr Steligca, the lung surgeon at UAMS and he ran his tests.

I went for a consultation of surgery July 22 and was admitted to the hospital that same night. The next morning I was prepped for surgery and whisked away to the operating room. I had a surgical biopsy in which the doctor removed a large piece of the tumor in my right lung for testing. They performed the test right in the operating room and the results were waiting on us when I came out of recovery.

It was a positive answer this time. I had B Cell Lymphoma Cancer. The mass on top of my right lung was compressing the lung to the degree of rendering it inoperable. It had caused a severe infection and extensive scar tissue in the lung. Large parts of my lung had collapsed and the mass was measured to be 7 inches long by 5 inches wide.

Because of the aggressiveness of the disease and it's rapid growth, the Doctor immediately referred me to the Oncology group and I began chemo treatments days later.

Now you know the beginning of my journey.

Stay posted for more! I have a wonderful but long story to tell and I would love to share it to you, my reader.

May you be blessed by these ramblings of mine!