I walked into a packed waiting room where many patients sat with vacant stares and no smiles. I was greeted by a rather rude nurse who demanded my name and then shoved a paper in my face for me to sign in. I was put off by her uncaring attitude in a place of obvious suffering but I determined to be nice to her and let Christ's light shine through me.
I signed my name and then waited. I had brought my mother and father along with me for my first treatment since my husband had to work and couldn't be there.
We waited for awhile and finally my name was called. I knew they would do blood work first and then I would go see my doctor to see what my results were and if my blood count was high enough I would go on to do my chemotherapy.
I carried my bag of hard candy Jolly Ranchers with me into the area where they did blood work because I knew from experience that the flush they used on my port was so strong in taste that it made me sick. A kind nurse in the hospital had told me that if I chewed on a piece of candy while they were flushing my port the taste wouldn't be so strong.
I entered a room as quiet as a tomb. There were cubicles all over like miniature hospital rooms but instead of doors there were curtains you could close for a bit of privacy. All the patients I saw were sleeping and looked to be in a drugged stupor. It was a truly scary place for a 21 year old to be entering for the first time. Fear of the unknown had my stomach clenched in knots.
My dad decided to go back with me for moral support. I was fearful that accessing my port would be painful as this was the first time I had ever had it accessed. I was told to rub the area on my skin with Preparation H to numb the skin so I wouldn't feel the sharp bee sting as the needle penetrated my skin. The needles they use for ports are about a half inch long and as thick as the end of a pen, so it's definitely something I did not want to feel if I could keep from it.
The night before my mom had a hankie anointed with oil and prayed over by Pastor Holmes and Bro. Betts and gave it to me to take with me for chemo. I clutched my hankie and prayed while the nurse prepared the area to access my port. She asked me to take a deep breath and on the count of three she entered my skin with the needle. I didn't feel a thing! She then began to take samples of my blood, which is my least favorite part. I always feel weak and shaky after they draw my blood.
I wasn't in there very long and then all was finished! I headed back up to the seventh floor where my doctors office was held. Again, I signed in and waited. After being called back we reviewed my blood work. The doctor read to us the level of my white blood cells, red blood cells, etc. Everything was high and exceptionally good so I was cleared to start chemotherapy that day.
We made our way down to the food court to eat lunch before starting chemo. I was so nervous I could hardly eat. Although this was my second round of chemo I was sedated for the first and slept through it so I didn't know what to expect. I was also told the rigors could happen a second time.
I made my way back into the room where they administered treatments. I was lead to a cubicle in the back by a kind, young nurse. I told her I was nervous because it was my first time and she did what she could to ease my fears.
First I was given two tylenol and some Kytrel as nausea medicine, then she administered some Benedryl through my IV to sedate me. I began to nod off to sleep a few minutes later. I then realized why it was so quiet and most of the patients were sleeping; they were all sedated prior to chemo.
I tolerated the treatment well. They started me off slow and then sped it up to maximum speed and all went well - no riggors the second time. Four and a half hours later I was done. I felt very groggy and tired after the dramatic experience of the whole day, but I didn't feel sick so we decided to celebrate with a take out dinner from Texas Roadhouse.
I ordered steak, baked potato and all the trimmings. I ate and felt pretty good that night. Little did I know that a hard learned lesson would be waiting on me the next morning. I woke up at 5:00am and before I could make it back to bed I was very sick. The rest of my day followed that pattern. I lost my nausea medicine I was scheduled to take and would get a little better and eat a few bites and immediately lose everything again. I was sick and hurting all over the entire day.
The days following were a little easier to handle but still very painful and rough. I had some dark nights and even darker mornings, but I made it through! By the second week I was feeling almost normal and by the third week I felt great! And then it was time to do it all over again. However, this time it wasn't as bad. I only got sick once and was able to control the pain pretty well with pain medicine.
I learned never to eat your favorite foods during chemo. As long as I live I will probably never be able to touch another steak again.
I have struggled with my anemia during chemo because it makes everything that much harder when you're already weak and low on blood. Chemo also tends to do that to you because it depletes yours system so much. I also learned what to expect the week after chemotherapy.
The five days I'm on prednisone after my treatment I can expect to be starving all the time. I have about five foods that I like to eat during this time because my stomach is still very sensitive and I must be careful to eat very mild things so I don't make myself sick. My mouth and throat also becomes sore about five days after my treatment so I have to be very careful of my diet and what I drink. On Day 6 after my treatment I can expect to feel very sore and bruised all over. My face and entire body hurts as if someone slammed me against hard concrete. Even the gentlest of touches is very painful. This is a result of the poison that chemo is pumping through my system. My lymph nodes swell in my neck and throat and everything aches all over. I also experience severe dizzy spells during this time as my blood count drops drastically.
This will last until about day 8 after my treatment and then I will begin to start feeling better. By day 9 & 10 my strength will return and I'm almost like my old self. I've learned to deal with all of this and take it in stride. I can tell you when these things will happen before they ever occur because I've watched the cycle and it's like clock work every month.
I just recently had my fourth chemo treatment and will find out the 24 of this month if I have 2 or 4 more treatments to go. I'm really hoping for 2! That would put me finishing chemo right before Christmas. What a wonderful Christmas present! At the beginning of my diagnosis they discussed giving me radiation as well due to the massive size of the cancer. However, I have responded so well to the chemo that they believe they can kill all of the cancer with just 6 treatments and no radiation. I'm hoping that is the case.
This has been a battle and a journey that I do not care to repeat. I pray I will never have to experience again what I have experienced in the last several months. This type of cancer, B Cell Lymphoma, has a very high cure rate and I was given an 80% chance of a total cure after chemotherapy. I was staged at a Stage 2 cancer but told that is still far better than it could've been.
I'm very thankful for the support of friends and family during this hard time. I cannot mention them without mentioning my precious husband of only 8 months. He has proven himself to be the man I knew he was when I married him. The hard times have shaped him into a loving, caring, warrior for my cause. He truly is my biggest supporter and I don't know what I would do without him. His love and support knows no bounds and he is always a strong rock I can lean on in the storms of life. When I am weak and at the end of my rope, he just reminds me to pray and not worry. "Just give it to God and stop worrying about it." He so often likes to remind me.
The hard times have been good for us because it has made our love for one another so much stronger. Our marriage is stronger for the hard times we've had to experience so early on. I have been told many times if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. I truly believe with God's help we can make it through the storms of life victoriously.
Thank you for reading my post and stay tuned for more on my journey through cancer.
God Bless,
-Amy Whitfield
No comments:
Post a Comment